M-Sex Five Careful What You Wish For
This is particularly aimed at you parents in the crowd. What did everyone think of Milton and Tessie's attempts to have a daughter? Can you trump fate? Do you think, for discussion sake, that we're meant to feel things might have been different if they hadn't tried to control the process? If you've been in a similar situation and are comfortable dishing, tell us: did you try to manipulate your child's sex? Did you feel superstitious about it? Why does Eugenides tell us this about Cal's conception?
posted by JenniNapa at
6:49 PM
5 Comments:
I didn't try to manipulate my child's gender the last time, but I will the next time!
I don't think that the manipulations of the parents to get a girl really made a difference int he outcome, but I think that it was something that the mother would always feel guilty for going along with. Perhaps that made her more tollerant of her "daughter's" lifestyle as a man as an adult. She couldn't blame him if it was her fault.
By
MamaChristy, at 7:28 AM
The reader feels more sympathy toward Tessie and Milton because, even if they had the full story from the beginning, they would have been in a quandry what to do, since they so wanted a girl. Ultimately, that initial desire for a daughter, as well as having raised Callie and known her as a female certainly added to Milton & Tessie's quick assent to the plan for surgery.
By
Pegs, at 1:16 PM
It is actually possible to 'manipulate' the gender of your child a bit nowadays - when doing IUI or IVF, it is possible to have the sperm 'spun' a certain way to make it more likely to have either a girl or a boy. Just had to share that tidbit.... now on to the question....
I don't think you can trump fate. If you're just meant to have a girl (or a boy), I don't think it matters what you do. But yes, I do think the author and Cal's intent is for us to feel things may have been different if they hadn't tried to manipulate the process. Perhaps Cal feels somewhat bitter about the fact that his parents wanted a girl so badly and instead got a boy. Maybe he feels that if they hadn't been so set on a girl and happy with having a girl, maybe they would have looked into the medical aspects of everything more and learned, as he did, that he was more of a male than a female as far as the medical world was concerned.
By
PCOSMama, at 7:19 PM
Good Q, Jenni. Well, this one pretty much puts into words my biggest fear in REAL life right now. My hubby and I are going to start IVF treatments hopefully in the next few months. And I definitely feel like we’re screwing with nature WAY more than we should. So the book kind of freaked me out. Ok, a LOT freaked me out.
But…back to the book. I agree with MamaChristy – what they did made no difference – that was all nature. It was the fact that she went along with TRYING in the first place that left her feeling guilty.
By
K-Pax, at 11:58 AM
K-Pax - I didn't know you and your husband were on the infertility journey! Good luck and I hope that you have a life-changing event happen in your uterus soon!
By
MamaChristy, at 11:52 AM
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