September 11 and kids
Brooke and her husband, Chris Henchy, were planning to start trying for a family with the help of fertility specialists in early 2002. The attacks in NYC on Sept. 11, 2001 just seemed to solidify their decision to have a family.
Did Sept. 11 affect how you felt about bringing children into your life? Did it affect how you feel about other people having children (deciding not to at all because of the horrors of the world, having more children than originally planned because of how the attacks made them feel, etc.)?
Did Sept. 11 affect how you felt about bringing children into your life? Did it affect how you feel about other people having children (deciding not to at all because of the horrors of the world, having more children than originally planned because of how the attacks made them feel, etc.)?
posted by MamaChristy at
12:18 PM
8 Comments:
September 11 didn't affect my feelings on having a family. We already knew we'd be bringing our children into a scary world. /
I think for some people, like Brooke and Chris, it solidified their desire to have children by making them realize that life is not guaranteed. It's easy to say 'oh, there's plenty of time to have kids later', but when something like Sept 11 happens it makes you realize that you could lose everything so fast and that can make you change your priorities. For instance, someone can say yeah, my job is important to me, but I realize now that it is more important to me to have a family. I don't want to die saying, wow I had a great job, I'd rather say wow I had a great time with my kids.
As for people who decided not to have families because of Sept 11, I can sympathize somewhat, but as I said previously, I think we all knew before Sept 11 that there is a lot of hatred and danger in the world. Sept 11 just really brought that home for everyone.
By
PCOSMama, at 4:16 PM
It's interesting how people differ. For a long time - since childhood, really - I felt the desire to be a parent but Sept. 11 made me question that it was a prudent decision.
I knew that the world could be an ugly place, but I fell into the American ideal that much of the really scary "ugly" didn't happen here. It felt suddenly like there wasn't any safe place. Did I want a child to grow up and not feel safe? For a long time, I wasn't sure.
About a year after the attacks - it took my husband a little longer to get ready for fatherhood - I began to wonder if the child I was supposed to have would play an important part in this world; would my baby be the key to world peace? Turns out that so far, he's the key to my peace and maybe that's all we can ever ask. I wouldn't want him to have the burden of a peaceful Earth on his shoulders, but maybe I can instill in him a desire to make at least his little corner of the world a better place.
By
MamaChristy, at 6:45 PM
The world has always been a dangerous place and always will be. September 11 just brought us to the frontlines.
When I was pregnant I did not really think about all the possible bad that could happen; I did wonder if I would be a good mommy but did not really think in the global perspective of it all.
(This was pre 9/11 waayyyyy pre 9/11).
I still tend to focus on the daily life and try to look at the positive. Six degrees of separation isn't much in the grand scheme of things; Post 9/11 I still think that the choice of having children focuses on the family unit == your little corner of the universe.
I figure God will take care of everything else.
May be hokey or nieve, but that's me.
By
E, at 9:10 PM
I'm like e in this regard. I don't tend to think globally when I make most of my decisions. We were trying to get pregnant when Sept. 11 happened and it didn't affect any of our choices. Of course, it still took another year to actually get pregnant, so by the time our daughter was born the shadow of 9/11 had lifted a bit. Not to say we forgot, but as time goes by... you know how it is.
By
mamashine, at 5:35 AM
You know...this is a tougher question that I thought it would be. I've started to answer four or five times now, and keep changing it...
I think it's tricky for me because I don't have children. But, naturally, any time a cataclysmic event like 9-11 or Katrina happens, it makes people reconsider priorities and life goals. I do remember reading an AP story once about a woman in Afghanistan (i think) who had like 17 sons, and something like 15 of them had died, either in war or as a suicide bomber. The woman was very calm about this, believing she was making the world a better place bc her children were brave and willing to fight for their country. In other words, while she said she loved her sons, she did not grieve their deaths, but glorified it and would continue to have children, knowing they might also choose an early death for a cause.
This was a long time ago, but it stuck with me, and I think of it whenever I read about 9-11 babies. The reasons people have kids -- and the goals they have for those kids -- are so very complex and different. Does anyone have kids for the right reasons? Is there a right reason?
By
JenniNapa, at 9:15 AM
And has anyone else read Jodi Picoult's "My Sister's Keeper"?
If not, highly recommended -- might be good for group. If so, that one really made me think about the reasons people have kids.
Just an aside...
By
JenniNapa, at 9:18 AM
I'm deathly afraid of having kids. I knew there were lots of people in the world who really hated this country long before 9/11. And I was deathly afraid of having kids long before then. But it's a great excuse, although it's not the one I use most. Mostly I am afraid of the evil that exists in me and passing that along to a child. You guys probably think I'm some insane freak. ;) But seriously, I wonder what is a good enough reason to have a child. I think it was Kelli's mom who said that the right time would be when it was what I wanted most in the entire world. I guess that's not yet. In the meantime, I try my best to be a good influence in the lives of my students. I suppose that's what I do to make the world a little better in my small way.
By
Kate, at 9:00 PM
P.S. I have My Sister's Keeper in my classroom and now I'm totally going to read it this week while my kids are taking their 2-hr finals and I can't really do anything other than read or stare at them.
By
Kate, at 9:02 PM
Post a Comment
<< Home